There I was happily dreaming that I was on my bike pedalling furiously up a hill – actually it was a brick wall, there is probably a metaphor there – when I encounter a group of people. I realize with shock that I am speaking a foreign language, and they are returning with the same. What’s going on? I could speak fluent German as a kid but although I don’t now I do recognise it. Then another person comes along – the top of the wall – and speaks in English to me. I kind of like this idea even though it is a little disturbing that part of my brain is fluent in Betelgeuse while the cognisant part isn’t. There must be a story there.
Having trouble with Boots.com I bought a kitchen appliance from Boots.com recently and phoned the Advantage card people to ask whywhen I inserted my card in the shop machine it doesn’t tell me about my additional points. The conversation flowed thus:
Me: where’s my points?
Advantage: your card is terminated.
Me: why?
Advantage: you ordered a new one on Boots.com yesterday.
Me: No, I didn’t.
Advantage: Yes, you did – the computer says so.
Me: No, I didn’t. I say so. I haven’t been on Boots.com for days.
Advantage: sorry about that.
Me: are you saying someone has hacked my account, used my password, etc – stolen my identity?
Advantage: Seems like that.
Me: what happens next then?
Advantage: We’re issuing you a new card and changed your number.
Me: What about the theft of my ID?
Advantage: Yes, that’s a nuisance.
Me: It’s theft and against the Data Protection Act and the Computer Act. Call the police.
Advantage: Ah no, it might be a Boots computer glitch. Don’t call the police. I’ll speak to a senior and he’ll get on to you.
I’m still waiting. That reminds me, I’d better change the password again.
