I have been flagellating myself in a literary, not literal, sense these last two days. Having had two professional editors slam into my Left Luggage, I felt it was time I faced reality and turned it around. I thought I’d written it without the humour I used for many of my short stories and in Escaping Reality, but clearly my funny bone snuck itself in there. I confess I haven’t read it again properly since an agent said it was superbly written two years ago. Sadly, that agent was the since discredited Christopher Hill and so comes re-evaluation time.

 The first chapter is based on a space shuttle (a newer model to the present antiques) approaching the International Space Station. They find it waltzing around when it should have been stationary - OK, geosynchronous orbit. But in solving the problem and finding an alien artifact, the crew impart too much hilarity for the editors. It made their characters unbelievable. Fair enough, even well-trained astronauts can use humour to alleviate stress – Tom Hanks did it all the time in Apollo 13. But I stretched it to incredulity. So I’ve been de-quipping. It didn’t help with the fact in my own character that I smile too much – just ask my wife. Consequently, so did my characters – so out go the smiles, sighs and shrugs – because as Al Guthrie rightly says, they are done in real life but they become cliched in fiction so find other ways to express feelings. Also out goes nodding. Until I did and edit find, I had no idea my book was a nodding duck fest! 

So my wife called from unloading the car yesterday and called: what are you doing? I replied: Expunging!

I am the featured review writer on this new SF review site: Strange Matters   Not everyone will agree with my take on The Time Traveller’s Wife but the site is a new one created by keen readers rather than writers and eager to attract a variety of opinions. I like to dip into readers’ as well as writers’ sites and I know the folks who run this one are friendly to writers – at least they are to me!

Wow, yesterday’s post here drew a flash flood of eees, some uneasy, to my inbox. I’d mentioned some helpful editing from a friend that has made me realise how amateur I really am compared to him. Half the e-mails said: never mind rules, write how your gut feels. The other half said of course your friend is right, and sure ignore rules — at your peril until you reach the bestseller list. Well my Escaping Reality was the best seller in two shops – both on my booksigning days – hah – although the 2006 Harry Potter Diary came a close second that saturday!

I return to those comments from my learned friend – and how does he know so much & be so successful yet affable at decades younger than me? He clarifies that I can use sighing and shrugging but they are soooooo overused that a commissioning editor will puke first and reject after. Maybe one sigh per 50 pages could be tolerated. Fair enough, I explore other ways to demonstrate my characters showing exasperation. Now I am gathering why some of my recent stories have been rejected – The Judgement Rock turned down at Ideomancer because although the concept was interesting her attention wasn’t maintained.  Maybe I’d sighed halfway – but I’ll reread and revise carefully before subbing anything again. I think after a short spate of having some stories published and winning a comp or two, I became lazy.

Anyway, here is a great link to dos and don’ts especially if you are writing noir crime. I maintain that some sci fi requires different treatment in that some more exposition may be needed to get over descriptions of weird scenery and weirder aliens. I know a number of readers who, for their sci fi. like to relax into the exploration of other planets and universes rather than experience a hard nose crime blood and guts story only set in the future. The link is here. Compulsory reading for any writer. 31 rules but he does top ‘n tail them with the proviso that they can be broken.

I am reeling. No I am not a fisherman. My dad says angling is a rod, a line, and a worm at both ends. A tad unfair? Maybe not to the fish.

My reels relate to a friend who has sent me the first chapter of my Left Luggage sci fi trilogy back to me. There was so much red I reached for the plasters. In spite of his very hectic job as a commissioning editor and agent for a noir crime publsher he offered to look over and line edit the intro to my sci fi story. I’d already had it worked over by two published science fiction writers, and others but was concerned because I’ve still not heard from HarperCollins or a big agency since I posted it to them in October. My friend treated it as if it was a submission to his concern and gave me strong pointers. I thought I was good at grammar but he found those ambiguous pronouns, unnecessary expositions I thought were essential, and tell – that I thought were minimised already!

He had a go at the word shrug – actually he’s having a go at sighing, but maybe shrugging too. I’ll quote it cos it’s funny though serious too:

“Looks like a single chevron.” Jill gave up trying to move it with the remote arm and fought off heaving a deep sigh of frustration.[I’m not a big fan of ‘sighing’. It’s usually a warning that there’s a shrug or a smile coming up] The crew looked at Dan for the EVA go-ahead. He shrugged his compliance.[and there we are]“Abdul, take no chances.”Abdul shrugged back. [two shrugs! It’s Christmas]See what I mean? So maybe he’s not against shrugging and I like it cos it is so expressive yet wordless! Few body actions are so meaningful! So why would he be against sighing? Maybe it is overdone, but it is done in real life so…

The more I know the more I realise how little I know – and that’s as true for contemporary writing as it is in life. He also urges me to rethink the prologue, which isn’t labelled as such but was the hook, but not so much as I thought.

Apparently Richard Morgan took 14 years to complete his first published sci fi novel, Altered Carbon. It’s only been 3 for me – but watch this space…

Three or more years ago I found a great writers’ website. BeWrite had everything I looked for as a relatively newbie seeking research tools, writerly comrades, editorial advice and good-natured and supportive chat. Sadly some members of the forum while being encouraged to use the site as a sandpit of ideas, prefer to seek weakness and trample on the castles rather than construct them. That is one reason why the forum is likely to close next week. The owners and moderators of the site have given hundreds of hours of their time helping individual writers to develop over the years. Sometimes we have not been helpful enough – it is a sad truth that we see fledgling writers that will probably never be any good. They might have a spark of creativity but lack so many writing skills, and more importantly, the ability to take advice, that they will never be puiblished. Should those unfortunate souls be encouraged? Probably not. A writer once said that if a writer could be encouraged to give up writing then they should be.  It is hard though to do that. When I encounter stories in the submissions list at BeWrite, where I am a volunteer editor, I sometimes squirm with angst knowing that I am going to have to reject the result of someone’s efforts and hopes. I always send a personal note pointing out areas for development, books they could read or courses to attend. Many have no idea of Show Not Tell, POV, active voice, creating three dimensional characters and many other attributes of a good writer. They can all be learnt, though a natural writer can zip along these learning curves much faster than others. Some don’t want to learn…

It is not the timewasting silliness on the BeWrite that would close it down – or fundamentally change it – it is the belief that there is a better, more productive way, to encourage promising writers to make it big. So it will not die so much as metamorphose.  And BeWrite remains as a bookshop. There are a growing portfolio of good books of all genre there – have a look.

Strange Matters is a brand new review site of science fiction. Created by two avid readers with no hidden agendas re: promoting or publishing. Give them a look here.

I took time out from writing sci fi yesterday to compose a short story sequel to my humour thriller Escaping Reality. Gladys of Magpies Nest Publishing urged me for a contribution to her Northern Lights anthology of pieces relating to Northern England. It has been two years since I last dotted a T, and then corrected it, on Escaping Reality so it was like visiting old friends to write again inside it and taking some characters for a walk. I based it on Maryport where our ‘hero’ returned to make ammends.

Once done and sent to writerly friends to weed those typos I returned to Exit, Pursued by a Bee. It is a unique situation in society where us writers, with several projects on the go, have these virtual groups of people waiting for our attentions. I’d left the characters in Escaping Reality – like putting soldiers back in their toy box – and helloed again to those in my other stories.

We are having a blast in the UK with a gale and rain. My bike heaved a sigh of relief when I told it I’ll be walking today.

For my sci fi trilogy, Left Luggage, I had a reject e-mail from Leslie at Artellus. I’d sent the pitch letter with 3 sample chapters and synopsis in October 2006. I was pleased she sent a personal rather than form reject and yet it is so odd – to me.

Her words are
Perhaps you have already lined up an agent for yourself, [me - waiting other responses, Leslie but thanks for the thought] but I don’t find this material possible for me – it is sort of overly deliberate in its setting out; I don’t think the dialogue is doing enough – you have to spell it out all the time. But reaction to fiction is very subjective. Best of luck, Leslie
I’ve no real idea what is meant by those comments, but I guess the dialogue that appeals to some didn’t in this case.

Any clues what ‘overly deliberate’ means? Janet at BeWrite.net says it might mean I’ve used too much tell, but I’m acutely aware of this problem in others. Of course that doesn’t mean I am immune from error. It is so easy to see flaws in other writers and be blind to one’s own. The sample chapters are, as normally requested, consecutive from the beginning of the book – exactly the area where exposition and scene setting, character descriptions, etc might overwhelm action and dialogue. But, I thought I’d balanced it correctly. I’ve asked for clarification in a thank-you letter. It is interesting that when I refer to this rejection in some writers’ forums, I do so to elicit interpretations rather than sympathy. I’ve had too many rejections to hit the bottle or the wall – it merely means finding another address to send my ouevre off too!

 Any help with literary-agent-speak into English would be handy!

There is an anthology of new short stories and poetry about the North of England, compiled by Gladys Hobson of Magpies Nest Publishing. The lovely Gladys has urged me to write a short story sequel to my humour-thriller novel, Escaping Reality. In that, Gerry escapes from prison and after a dangerous winter trek across the Northumberland Moors breaks into house in Maryport and uses it as a squat. He rents out part of the house to a motorbike enthusiast but Gerry ends up not only borrowing the bike but selling it in Amsterdam! So the short story is the post-retrial return – the need to make ammends and restitution to those innocents who befriended him. But does it go smoothly? Hah!

I came off my bike today – I was slowing to dismount into a layby and a lip on a curb was higher than anticipated. Luckily a telegraph post intercepted my skid so I didn’t end up in a briar hedge. Luckily there is little damage – the wheels still rotate and the gears change.
Luckily my wife never looks at me so she hasn’t noticed the marks on my face, and she can’t see through trousers at my red and blue knees. She did wonder why I was putting my cycling jacket and trousers in the washing machine… hah!

The good news is that some story ideas popped in while I was traversing the mud.

As part of the 2007 me, needing to be slimmer and brighter, yesterday, I did a 15 miles cycle ride against icy rain and gales to reach the gym.

I leapt on the running machine (I haven’t run for years) and thought 5k should be no problem. So off I jogged – I realised the gradientwas set to 2 so I flattened it. I tried to make it negative gradient but the running downhill button must be broken. I set the speed to 10 but my legs complained about being so blurred so back to 9. By then, after what seemed hours, I noticed the distance I’d covered was 0.44 So that must be broken too! I jogged on and saw a red-faced sweating idiot in front of me – yes a mirrored wall. My specs kept slipping.
Anyway when the distance reached 1.0 I hit the emergency STOP button.
The time said 6:58. My knackered leaden legs said that meant 6 hours and 58 mins but the attendant said it was minutes. I said was the 1.0 miles or units of 10 miles? He said it was one km! Never! I told him he was broken too.

 My son tells me he had the same experience when running after a long non run period. I would have tried again today but by the time I reached the gym I was too knackered. Why? Because it the gales blow beautiful music through our trees and telephone wires, but also through my bicycle spokes. It was playing Home Sweet Home as a strong hint my bike preferred to stay in the garage while it was so windy. So I pulled on some wellingtons and trudged through mud and long grass the short cut way to the gym. A sauna and jet spa later I trudged back.

 Two rejections this week so far. Clarkesworld and Apex Digest gave helpful but no no comments for my Ubiquitous sci fi short. I’m still contemplating transcribing my Left Luggage sci fi trilogy into a filmscript and try submitting that way. I have experience writing TV sitcom scripts but not movies. Could be a loooooong job. But I have to complete Exit, Pursued by a Bee first. Time time where do you go?

Progress is going well on my raw food diet so far this week. My head is clearer and my word, it must be a good detox diet! Will it help ideas whiz around like a model electron in my brain – I’ll have a look later.

 Another former client of Christopher Hill Literacy Agency found my e-mail address this morning and asked what was going on! Not a lot, sadly, and so another one – from Australia this time, is having to start the hunt the agent game again.